I had such an exciting Christmas break, people. Truly historic. I cannot wait to tell you all about it.
My people finally got smart and decided to do something fun. We spent the entire week of Christmas on an adventure, including Christmas Day itself, which I feel is the correct way to celebrate any holiday. Mom took time off, we packed up the car, and we headed way down south to South Tehas to a town called Port Isabel. I do not know who Isabel is, but I assume she is important and probably enjoys a good boat like me.
My people rented a house right by the water where we could watch boats pass through a swing bridge all day long. This was ideal because I am an experienced sailor and highly respected first mate. I spent my time judging docking attempts, evaluating vessel safety, and silently questioning several captains life choices. Some of those boats were held together by hope.
I also met many new dolphin friends. They swam by often, clearly aware that I was watching. Some stopped to talk. There were also more amazing smells than I could possibly describe. Fish smells, salt smells, boat smells, and mysterious smells that made me stop walking and just breathe them in like the professional I am.
We stayed at our rental home for four wonderful days during Christmas week. Every single day I got to stay outside on a huge deck with my people from morning until night. We watched ships glide by while playing in the fresh salt air. The wind blew through my sable locks and made me look like the shepherd champion I obviously am. I lifted my nose to the sky and sniffed scents from miles away like the majestic sea dog I was born to be.
I even got to eat some fishes while I was there, just like in my full time sailing days. It felt like I was back on the sea where I belong. Being there made all of us miss the days when we lived on our boat, and my people talked about how someday soon we hope to find another boat to call home. I approved this plan immediately. I love to travel and I was built for this life.
Now I need to tell you about the pirates. Yes, actual pirates.
One day a pirate ship came through the channel and I could tell they were thinking about an attack. They had that look. But when they saw me standing tall on the deck, chest out, ears alert, wind dramatically blowing through my fur, they hesitated. After witnessing my might and obvious authority over the waters, they retreated in fear. I accepted their surrender silently, as a true professional would.
The fishermen were another story entirely.
Many fishing boats passed by and I could tell immediately that they knew who I was. Word travels fast on the water. They had heard that I was my dad’s first mate on our sailboat and that I was very good at it. They were clearly impressed by my seamanship and leadership skills.
Several of them wanted me to come work with them. They really needed my help. Unfortunately, I had to turn them down. My people simply could not get along without me. I am the glue that holds everything together, especially at Christmas.
Oh and the best part of the trip was my dad. My dad is the best. One day he introduced me to something called a pup cup. We went to a magical place called Dairy Queen. Sister and I each received our own cup of ice cream. It changed my life. I am shocked more people are not talking about this invention. I ate mine quickly and then attempted to eat Sister’s because she was moving at an unacceptable speed and clearly did not understand the urgency of the situation.
On the water I saw barges carrying huge barrels of something called bauxite. I do not know what it is, but it looked important. There were bird watching boats, dolphin watching boats, and lots of fishermen. Some boats were big and serious, and some were tiny boats just heading out for the day with great confidence. It was a busy place!
Then there were the paddle boats. The paddles absolutely terrified Sister. She was convinced they were sea creatures trying to escape the water. She barked bravely and eventually had to go inside to calm down. I stayed outside to continue supervising the harbor, because someone had to remain in charge.
By the end of the trip I was salty, sandy, windblown, and deeply satisfied. I slept like a champion every night and dreamed of boats, dolphins, pirates retreating in fear, fishermen begging for my help, and a future filled with travel and pup cups.
It was the best Christmas a sea dog could ask for, and I fully expect all future holidays to meet this standard.
Karl, out.
