It was about five months after Karl’s first seizures. He had not had a single one since those initial two, and the medicine had been working perfectly. I had allowed myself to believe we were past it.
But in the middle of the night it happened again, just like before. A grand mal seizure, violent and terrifying, and once again he stopped breathing for about twenty seconds. It was the same horrible experience, and somehow worse, because this time I knew exactly what it meant. A couple of hours later he had another, something that had never happened before.
It was Saturday night and the seizures continued through the dark hours. Soon, between the grand mals, he began having petit mal seizures that never let him fully return to himself. It reached the point where he was not cognizant in the moments between them. He did not know us. He could not stand at times. He did not drink and he could not potty. His body was stuck in a brutal cycle that we later learned is called a cluster seizure incident. The cycle has to be interrupted or it will not stop.
We called the emergency vet after the second seizure, but there was only one in our part of Alaska and they said they could not help us. So we were left to care for him ourselves while he seized nearly nonstop for two days.
By Monday morning I finally reached our regular vet but they were too busy to see him. Thankfully another clinic in town could take him first thing. I made the twenty minute drive with a dog who barely knew where he was.
The moment we arrived they shaved his leg and started an IV of Midazolam. Karl had not been able to urinate since the seizures started, but soon after the medication hit his system he began to pee all over the office. I was happy and embarrassed all at once. He kept trying to stand up and the pee was going everywhere. But all I could think was thank God, he is waking up inside again. He looked at me with this dazed little expression like “What?” while the techs encouraged him to keep going. In any other moment it would have been funny. That morning it was enough to make me almost cry with relief.
They gave him a shot of Phenobarbital and drew blood while he finally relaxed and went to sleep. We stayed there for a few hours, long enough for the seizure activity to stop. He had not had a grand mal since the early morning and even the small ones had gone quiet. We were sent home with strict instructions to return immediately if anything started again. After eighteen grand mal seizures and countless small ones, his life was genuinely at risk.
By the time we drove home it was almost noon. But the moment we got into the house Karl twitched. It was not dramatic but it was enough. I turned right back around and loaded him into the Jeep and we drove straight back to town.
They hospitalized him for observation for the rest of the day and hooked up two IVs. Thankfully they let me bring him home that night. I would not have wanted to leave him there alone.
But the important part the lifesaving part was that the cluster had finally been broken.
Since that weekend we always carry an emergency injection kit to break seizures ourselves if we ever find ourselves without after hours care. Considering how often we travel to remote places it is not optional. It is a necessity.
That weekend taught me that loving Karl means fighting with him, for him, and sometimes just holding on until the light comes back.