Howdy, landlubbers, RVers, Sailors, and Shepherd lovers everywhere.
Tehas has a dark side. I have to warn you. What I have to say is disturbing.
I am reporting to you today from the beautiful Hill Country, deep in the heart of Tehas. She is beautiful but deadly. Be careful, my friend. Don’t let her looks fool you.
It has taken me a few days to recover. I couldn’t bring myself to talk about it until now. But now I am ready.
Tuesday, March 10th started out like any other wonderful day. I helped Dad with chores and we went for a long walk. I chased a bee. It chased me back. I stuck my foot in my ear and dug around and Dad told me if I did it again he would get the finger-wipe things and clean my ears. I hate that.
I forgot and did it again.
Guess what Dad did.
He got the finger things and cleaned my ears. Rude. He said it was gross. I didn’t even know it was also mani-pedi day until he pulled out the nail clippers and the brush. I have to lay still and have my nails clipped and did I mention lay still? No. No. NO. It tickles my feet and I don’t like it.
Oh, you’re done? Ok. Yeah.
I paced back and forth down the length of the RV while Dad trimmed Sister’s hairy hobbit feet and Mom typed on her computer. Mom had a lot of meetings and was already hard at work.
Then Dad said it was time to eat. Finally. I was sooooo hungry. I ran to my bowl. Dad put my scoops in. I sniffed it.
Yuck.
I was not eating that. I turned around and headed up to my spot. I have two spots that are all mine. The floor in front of the passenger seat, where I have a window and watch Shep TV — very entertaining. Sister can’t get up here because it is too hard for her to climb over the cowling. My other spot is under the dinette table, where I curl into a perfect tiny ball and fit exactly right.
This week I have decided I am not eating kibble. It is an ongoing battle with my people. I am special and should be treated as such. Sometimes they think they are in charge and I need to put a stop to that. This is one of those times. We will know who wins by the end of this blog.
The afternoon went on with errands and chores. Dad needed my help a lot, as usual. I took him outside and fetched the ball for him. He was very entertained. When Mom got off work we sat outside and enjoyed the cool weather. We are Alaskans, so these temperatures are already wilting us. Hehehe.
Dad made dinner and we were about to sit outside again when Mom said to check the radar. We had a radar on the boat. Dad knew immediately what that meant. He said Mom needed to give me juice.
Oh. That is not good.
When I get juice, it means something no good is coming my way. I started pacing laps. Back and forth. Back and forth. Time went by and then I heard it. My people couldn’t hear it yet. I started to tell them. I went and sat on Dad’s lap. He said, I know buddy.
Mom looked at her phone and said some bad words.
Then she told Dad the winds would be 60 miles per hour. Now, that may not sound like much to those of you in stick-and-brick houses. But for those of us in RVs, or our sailor friends, that is serious business.
Dad turned on the TV and turned it up loud to try to cover some of the sounds. It didn’t work. But I appreciated the effort.
We waited and waited. It was a slow storm. After a long time, Mom said it was getting smaller. Finally, she said she thought it was turning. Dad said his arm was asleep and I got down and took a nap because it was quiet outside.
At bedtime, Mom and Dad both took us outside just in case I got scared and decided to bolt, whatever that means. The ground was wet and it was sprinkling but that was all. Mom said there were more storms coming up from Mexico but it was too soon to tell if they would reach us.
Everyone went to bed.
All night long the sky yelled and flashed and boomed and crashed. I jumped into bed with Mom and Dad. Mom picked me up and made me get down. But then she laid down on the floor with me and cuddled me. I trembled. I fell asleep.
Then it happened again.
I got really upset and started to drool. Mom gave me an extra shakey pill. Being too upset can bring on the shakeys. Then we started all over again. This went on all night. At 4am the worst of it came and Mom gave me more juice. At 5am Dad got up with me and we waited it out together.
I am sorry I had to tell you the dark secrets of Tehas. I love her. But it was a very long night. I think I can only visit her in the winter when her skies are quiet.
But the next morning the sun came up. The birds were singing. And so was my heart.
It was a beautiful day here in Tehas.
And now, my friends, I have an update on the kibble situation.
I held out for two days. TWO DAYS. I am not going to lie to you, it was getting serious. I am a working dog and I need my strength. But I have a reputation to maintain and I knew if I just waited them out something better was coming.
Then Dad did something.
He cooked sausage.
I want you to understand what that smells like in a small RV. Dad mixed that sausage right in with my kibble and put the bowl down in front of me like he wasn’t absolutely surrendering.
I sniffed it.
I ate it.
Every. Single. Bite.
I told you I was in charge.
Plain kibble. That is what they thought I would eat. Plain kibble. I am Karl, Master of the Sea, Land, and Sky. I eat sausage now.
We all know who won.
Karl out.
Current kibble status: Upgraded. Permanently, if I have anything to say about it.